It’s Monday…thank you God…

131. for my health…one of my husband’s extended family members starts chemo this week.

132. that I have a good relationship with my grown children…I know some grandparents who have never met their 2 year old grandchild because of words spoken in the past.

133. I have a seasonal job.

134. I came home from work and my husband was folding the laundry for me.

135. homemade chili-dogs with lots of cheese for supper.

136. foot rubs from my husband after long days on my feet.

137. Goop…gets the gravy stains out of a white shirt.

138. driving home with the window down and the radio playing.

139. watching a family gather around one of their own…a quiet testimony that they are family and are there for one another.

140. a Saturday that started out gray and rainy but turned into a beautiful sunny day filled with the colors of fall.

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Another Gratitude Monday

111. the feel of my daughters embrace

112. seeing Cardinal's baseball in person

113. the smile on my husbands face while watching the baseball game

114. the gathering of family...if only for an afternoon

115. sharing a lap blanket with my daughter-in-law on one side and

 my husband on the other

116. trees losing their leaves and exposing a birds nest

117. peanuts and cracker jacks

118. the first frost of fall

119. finding a new herbal tea flavor to enjoy

120. the shade of blue that the sky reserves for fall

121. extra blankets on the bed

122. snuggles to share the warmth

123. new soup recipes to try

124. switching out the summer clothing for the winter clothing

125. washing away the chills with a long soak in the tub

126. the scent "Autumn Wreath" by Yankee candle drifting through the living room

127. spending quiet evenings working on cross stitch projects

128. the taste of a hersheys kiss melting in my mouth

129. seeing a drop in numbers on my bathroom scale

130. the "Cuppy-Cake" ringtone signaling a text from my Babygirl

Join the Gratitude community over at "Holy Experience" with Ann - begin counting your own graces!

Walking in love,

Broken Pieces

Several years ago I was preparing to leave the house and in my rush my purse connected with an old tea cup and saucer displayed on a ledge.  I cringed as I watched the tea cup and saucer decorated with purple violets crash to the floor, the shattering of china made me gasp.  The damage was done.  Bits and pieces of white shards lay scattered between the larger pieces of cup and saucer.   What had been a set of four cups and saucers’ belonging to my great grandmother was now reduced to three.

How could I have been so clumsy?  I kneeled down to pick up the two pieces that had been a saucer and tried to fit them together like pieces of a puzzle.  I picked up the largest piece of the cup that included the curved handle and felt sadness well up within me that one of the few tangible connections I had of my great grandmother was lost.

My husband came upon the scene as I was sweeping the fragments into the dust pan.  He recognized the remains of the cherished cup and saucer and offered words of comfort at the loss of the irreplaceable. 
 

Later that night I thought about the cups and saucers and my great grandmother.  I was reminded that nothing in this world lasts.  Some day the other three cups and saucers will be passed on to family members and will eventually be broken or passed on to others who don’t know the family history they represent. 

As I laid there contemplating the shattered and broken I talked to God.  My thoughts turned to events in my life that had left me broken and emotionally shattered.  Childhood abuse that had lain buried beneath the surface for years until the light of God’s love made it possible to uncover it and deal with the pain and damage.  In my hands the broken shattered pieces had been impossible to fit back together but in the healing hands of a loving God the pieces of a broken heart and life had been repaired.

He took His time and tenderly guided me through the sharp, cutting memories.  Some of the broken pieces had left wounds that had become infected with unforgiveness and bitterness.  He washed them with His Word and poured out his healing love upon them.  Sometimes the washing in the Word stung…I had to let go of the bitterness and unforgiveness before deep healing could begin; other times the washing in the Word brought peace and joy even in the midst of tears.  He was gentle and compassionate, at the same time He was persistent, even relentless in His desire to see the healing begin.

One of the amazing things about God is that He wants me to come to Him just as I am…bruised, battered, broken, and shattered…but He refused to leave me in that condition.  My brokenness was not a surprise or a challenge for Him.  He delights in taking those very things that had left me wounded and scarred and showing me how He can use them for His glory.  When I look to Him to do His healing work, trusting that He will not allow my pain to be wasted, then my brokenness can become my testimony of His love for me.

Walking in love,

Hearts Knit Together

Recently I had the opportunity to visit a friend in Virginia. My only travels to the east coast before last week were when we were leaving for Germany. Our son was a year old and we had to drive to New Jersey to drop off our car to be shipped overseas. From there we took a taxi to JFK for our flight to Germany. We didn’t have much time for sight seeing but the scenery through the Smokey Mountains was so beautiful I remember commenting to my husband how nice it would be to live in that area.

My friend Julie lives in the Shenandoah Valley of the Commonwealth of Virginia. From her back porch you can see the Blue Ridge Mountains and from the front of her house you can see the Allegheny Mountains in the distance. The area is rich in history with more interesting things to see and do than we had time for.

One of the things we did was to drive along a section of the Blue Ridge Parkway. We took along pizza and sodas and set out around 5:30 in the evening. We stopped and looked out over the valley, taking pictures and enjoying the scenery. We found a picnic table at one of the trailheads and had our pizza and sodas. The breeze was strong and the sun was warm. The trees are thick, green and lush. I can only imagine how beautiful the fall colors will be in a few weeks, there were the occasional splashes of red or yellow as the colors of fall are just beginning to make an appearance. We were able to look out over the valley and watch the sun set. It was a beautiful ending to a wonderful day.

 We went shopping, visited a small store that has nothing but cross stitching supplies called the Cross Stitch Station. We both were inspired to get busy with projects for Christmas. We visited Liberty University where Julie’s two sons are going to school. We walked all over the campus then went downtown and had a picnic near the James River in Lynchburg. The day I left we visited Thomas Jefferson’s home, Monticello. Jefferson must have been an interesting man; he loved books and was very creative. I wanted to spend time in his library just looking through his collection of books…not allowed of course but I was very curious about the books he read.

 The best part of my visit was the time Julie and I were able to spend sharing and praying. We have been prayer partners for 2 years now. For the last 10 months since she left for Virginia we have had prayer time over the phone. It works but it sure isn’t like sitting across from each other and sharing face to face. We pray for each other and for each others families. Last week we talked about all the prayers God has answered and we are more convinced than ever that prayer is the most important thing in our relationship. How gracious God was to bring us together. What a privilege it is to share my heart with another in prayer.

Sitting on her back porch watching the sunrise over the Blue Ridge Mountains was so peaceful. God speaks to us through His creation if we take the time to listen. We shared tea, banana bread, and devotions in the early morning sunlight. I was making memories with my dear sister in Christ to carry with me back to Missouri.

Before I left we both decided we need to plan for my next visit. Lord willing and details fall into place I hope to visit in October of next year…maybe I’ll catch the leaves in all their fall glory. Until then we pray for and with each other long distance. We are separated by miles, mountains and rivers; but we are brought together in the Spirit when we pray. Together we meet before the throne of God submitting our requests at His feet. I know He hears us. He knows us well…Julie and Penny…two hearts He knit together in friendship and fellowship through prayer. What a blessing.

Walking in love,

An Empty Nest

(Photo found online)

School is back in session. College students have descended on our small town crowding the aisles at Walmart as they stock up on toilet paper and other necessities of life…like Mountain Dew and Doritos. The parents of these same students are touring the town, stopping in at the local shops, exploring what is now their child’s home for the next several months. The students act excited and the parents…not so much. I’m not sure if that’s due to the fact that they are paying for these same students to attend college or the prospect of leaving town to go back home without their child…probably both.

My brother and sister-in-law just dropped their youngest off at a school of higher learning. Their student was excited and ready to move on to the next phase of his life. My sister-in-law on the other hand has struggled for weeks at the prospect of his leaving.

When our first born left home I saw him off at the airport and then went to our Wednesday evening activities at church. My emotions were under control but right at the surface. I was doing fine talking about our son until a friend asked me how I was doing. Tears welled up in my eyes and I told her I couldn’t go there or I’d be sobbing that ugly cry. She nodded and changed the subject. Our son went into the military so he left his room just as it was. We would go in and just sit on his bed, it made us feel closer to him.

Our youngest spent the next 7 years wishing there were other children in the family so she wouldn’t be our only source of interest. While she would be the first to admit that being the youngest has its perks; seeing the two of us standing in her doorway just watching her do her homework those first few weeks her brother was gone wasn’t one of them.

The day we moved our daughter into her apartment I returned home to her nearly empty room and sat down in the middle of the floor where her bed had been and cried. The things she had left behind were things she had outgrown or didn’t have room for. Those things are now boxed up and in our basement.

Once both children had flown the coop and we were left with the empty nest, life went on but it didn’t feel right. If we as parents do our job correctly we have prepared our children to leave home but…it feels very much like being fired from a job that you love.  I think the grief surprised me more than anything.  I was happy they were out on their own, living their dreams but I was overwhelmingly sad as well.

Now life with my husband brings back memories of when we were first married- just the two of us. We have less stuff to pack into the car when we take a trip and only two opinions on where to eat or what to do. I miss being able to share the things with my daughter that I know she would find interesting or funny. It has gotten easier. After three years I can look at our home as being spacious instead of empty. I like that when I clean, things will stay clean. I don’t miss the staying up until they come home, or the falling asleep and waking up when they come home late.

I miss the laughter and the togetherness. The everyday familiarity of my children living at home. The spontaneous hugs, the notes left for each other, the shared meals, just hanging out together. Those times we are able to be together now are all the more precious, they seem to be over sooner than I would like.

As with every new circumstance in life there are adjustments to be made. I spent a lot of time in prayer asking God “What now?” God must have been waiting for me to ask that very question because He has given me plenty to keep me busy.

To my sister-in-law I would say...keep breathing.  Put one foot in front of the other and move forward.  Cry if you need to, talk it out with someone who has been there, we understand.  Just because we are not part of the everydayness of our childrens lives doesn't mean God isn't.  When our children move on to the next thing in life they don't go alone...God goes with them.

I’m thankful for snail mail, phones, texting, email and Facebook, all options for staying connected. God entrusted two children into my care for a season. I pray I didn’t let Him or them down. Though they are no longer living in my home, they remain in my heart. I look forward to someday beginning a new season in life…grand parenting. I think I might enjoy it…there’s room in my heart and home that’s for sure.

Walking in love,

Counting Graces this week

91. Sharing the road with Amish folks and their horse pulled wagons and buggies.
92. The face of an Amish boy peering from the back of a buggy.
93. Dew so thick it looks like it rained.
94. Cool morning breeze as the sun comes up.
95. A weekend spent with family.
96. Long distance chat, laughing, scheming, and planning, with my friend in VA.
97. My family gathered around a prayer bench together at church, heads bowed.
98. Driving through the countryside enjoying the green...a result of so much rain!
99. Vegetable soup with sour dough bread.
100. Peanut butter cookies fresh from the oven...thanks to Pillsbury.
101. My husbands fresh shaved face...smooooth.
102. Plans for a busy September.
103. Washing dishes and seeing the full moon climb the night sky.
104. Watching the meadow larks swooping and diving to catch bugs as the tall grasses were being mowed down.
105. Getting lost in a Bible study...finding my way in Him.
106. Receiving 2 items in the mail with my name written in familier handwriting.
107. Finding cards to encourage people in my life and dropping them in the mail.
108. Listening to the heart of a mom just entering the empty nest phase of life and understanding.
109. Pink flip flops.
110. Pouring "Joy" dish soap into my soap bottle and enJOYing the lemony scent.

Take time to count your blessings and enjoy the simple things.

Walking in love,

The War Room

He is a warrior. He was trained to handle a weapon, march in formation, and obey orders. He is a Marine. Years have gone by since he wore the uniform and served our country but he is still a Marine…he has the haircut to prove it. He lives by the Marine Corps motto: Semper Fidelis; Always Faithful or just Semper Fi. He has a scrapbook with photographs and memories that he pulls out and shares if you are interested. He shared it with our daughter last fall and she recently told me her favorite moment with her grandpa was his showing her his scrapbook and describing everything. A life story shared, one generation with the other.

 

He is getting older. He has new teeth now. His body has been sending him signals for several years that it’s not as strong or as fast and agile as it used to be. He isn’t the warrior he was with the strength and vigor he had as a young man wielding a weapon but he is still a warrior and stronger now in other ways.

Every day he goes into what he refers to as “The War Room” and wages war, through prayer and intercession. His weapon now is the Sword of the Spirit…the Word. He studies and reads from the Bible as he prepares the lesson for Sunday school each week. He has read through the Bible several times over the years by reading several chapters every day.

He writes himself notes and hangs them on the hutch over his desk so he doesn’t forget who to pray for and what their needs are. He reads the promises in the well worn Bible and claims them, prays them for the people he has a burden to pray for. His faith runs deep because he has experience with the One who hears the prayers of His children. They have a long history together him and his Lord. He received his marching orders from God many years ago to trust, obey, and follow Him. He hasn’t stopped following Him.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  Ephesians 6:12

He stands in the gap, praying for the lost, the sick, the dying, the prodigal child, his children and grandchildren, marriages that are in crisis, and the hurting. He prays for the soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan and through out the world. He prays for our nation and our leaders. He prays for the church and for fellow believers. He prays for himself, asking for forgiveness, seeking guidance as well as asking for discernment.

He is a prayer warrior waging war against the enemy using the weapons of prayer and God’s Word. He is a righteous man who has a reputation for being a man of prayer. He doesn’t back down and he doesn’t give up.

“The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”  James 5:16

In this battle I’m glad he’s got my back, and I’m certain many others feel the same way.

Walking in love,