Hurting People Hurt People

When a child grows up in a family where the daddy uses a switch cut from a tree to whip her; where a slap from across the kitchen table is so hard that the blow knocks her out of her chair and does irreparable damage to her ear drum; where she is locked into a closet for trespasses committed; that child is going to carry the scars of abuse deep within for the rest of her life. 

My mom was an abused child.  Her daddy was mean. Her mother was powerless to protect her children.  While nothing to the degree of the abuse she grew up with, my mother carried traces of that abuse into her parenting. 

When I became a parent I couldn't imagine ever crossing the line between discipline and abuse.  Until I faced my own rage over something my son did or didn't do when he was about six years old.  I remember grabbing him by the shoulder and screaming at him.  I saw the tears and the fear on his little face and I was shocked that I was the cause of both.  I remember my man telling me to calm down.  I remember the shame and guilt as well as the grief I felt inside.  I remember the fear I felt...that I could be so angry.  

I ran to my room and cried...I cried for my son, myself and my mom.  I prayed for forgiveness and I asked for God's help.  I asked God to heal our family of the cycle of abuse that was about to overtake another generation.  I wish I could say I never went into  another screaming fit again but my children can testify that I did.  

My daughter and I were talking about parenting a few years back.  We were discussing how I was a different parent than my mother; she would be a different parent than I had been.  I reminded her that while my mom and I had been children of abuse, the cycle of abuse had stopped with me.  She and her brother were on the receiving end of God's grace when He answered my prayer to break the cycle.

I'm thankful that God heals broken people.  I'm thankful that His forgiveness flows through us so that we can forgive others.  I'm thankful that He uses our scars and brokenness to show others His healing power. 

Today is my mom's birthday.  God has blessed me with a love and compassion for her that I didn't know was possible.  He has given me spiritual eyes to see the broken, battered, abused child she tries to hide from the world.  I am so very thankful to the woman who carried me and cared for me.  I am thankful beyond words for a loving Father who excels at healing hurting people.

Multitude Monday
Ten things I'm thankful for this week:

11.  homemade ice cream

12.  my mom

13.  Forgiveness

14.  answered prayer

15.  Spiritual discernment

16.  Jordon's hugs

17.  Holly's new job

18.  back scratches

19.  naps

20.  three day weekends 

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